Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Randomize
