no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
