I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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