Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
