would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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