think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
