you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
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