Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
