I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
