Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
