Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I need to calm my uterus...
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
