Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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