she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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