THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
i think my cat just said my name.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
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