i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
FUCK WHALES
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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