Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
