mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
