the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
