I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
It's rum buckets o'clock
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
