Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
