New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
