Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
