you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize