I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
She bit a glass in half.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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