Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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