I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
