You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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