This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
