Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
where does the pee come out of this thing
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
