yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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