well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
