ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
