ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
