blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
