I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
