I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
