Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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