you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
