Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
