Me. At least after what I've been through.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
