This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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