Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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