i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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