I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize