Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
last night I used snow as a chaser
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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