so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
