I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
