Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
