We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
