Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Randomize
