Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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