my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
