So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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