If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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