Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
don't judge my taste in strippers
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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