i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
