whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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